marching/flying on

i am still awaiting the release of saint bartlett. soon. may 25th. i am excited and also anxious. it's wanting both, to go out and promote it and also stay at home. it's not how things work though. i'm going to be completely honest. over this past year, i wanted to hang this up. at least the going out into the world part. it was a lot that caused this. my deep growing love and devotion to my son, who is getting older. we have conversations all the time. he understands more. we teach each other new things daily. any day that i am not near him, is heart breaking. "the other part of me" is absent. he is encouraging in my pursuit of music.. well, so long as it's done at home. understandable. another thing that made me consider a change was the joy i felt being in the studio with richard swift. for the first time in my years of playing music, i felt able to really look at the songs for the first time. this is kind of vague. i am not even sure how i begin to explain it. freedom. it's how i felt about the new songs. about the songs that i have still been writing. about my time in the studio with richard. i left the studio no longer feeling "outside" or apart from other well known songwriters. i now see myself beside them, or at least near them. so here i am now. standing in this line, mentioned in the same breathe as other musicians. being called a "legend of my own time". i don't think that. some in the press said it. i'm learning to be comfortable with it. ...where am i going here? i guess it's to say, that i'm happy about my future and the songs. it's just getting out the front door first, or making it to the edge of the cloud i seem to be on. to make a flying leap.